Sometimes a tech company is so ridiculous, I can only process it with a little satire. This is one of those times.
The first section of this letter contains real life context about the tech startup
The second section is the brand strategy feedback I'd offer if
1. I worked in brand strategy
2. The tech startup in question tried to secure my services.
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The Context
When his date catches on to the ruse, Cluely tries to salvage the situation in real-time as if it were an AI Cyrano de Bergerac. It hints he should reference her artwork and quickly generates a script to convince her that despite the lies, he’s worth a second shot.
This Black Mirror-esque ad is Lee’s elevator pitch for what “cheating on everything” looks like. After all, why stop at technical interviews when you could have an AI wingman? - Victoria Song, The Verge
It also took 20 seconds each time to generate, with Emanuel and I staring at each other while we waited. Not the kind of thing that would work in a real world situation. - Matthew Gault, 404 Media
The Satire
Subject: Regarding Cluely Brand Strategy Consultation Request
Dear [Redacted],
Congratulations on your $5.3 million seed round. Raising millions for what appears to be an incognito window for ChatGPT is no mean feat. While I am diverted by your interest in my brand consultation services, I must decline your offer to name my price in Cluely "stonk options."
You said I'd only turn Cluely down if I was a "hater." I am not! I think neural networks have many good use cases. I believe the technology could be developed with ethical datasets, environmental protections, and application guardrails. I very much wish the worst people in the world weren't weaponizing machine learning in the worst possible ways. These opinions make me a poor culture fit for Cluely.
I am committed to not working with hypebeasts who trade on misogyny. This also makes me a poor culture fit for Cluely.
However, I appreciate it must have been difficult to ask for human feedback on your AI is Everything, Everything is AI product. I am sure you were moved by a sense of urgency. Your startup has no moat. Cluely will need to rely on brand strategy to scale quickly enough to get favorable multiples in an early acquisition.
I will not be able to help you develop that strategy. But as an acknowledgement of our shared humanity, I've spent five minutes reviewing Cluey's manifesto. My notes are included below.
Cluely Manifesto
It's possible you've only read an AI summary of your company's manifesto. I am including a toggle of the document sans notes.
We want to cheat on everything
Yep, you heard that right.
Sales calls. Meetings. Negotiations.
If there's a faster way to win — we'll take it.
We built Cluely so you never have to think alone again.
It sees your screen. Hears your audio.
Feeds you answers in real time.
While others guess — you're already right.
And yes, the world will call it cheating.
But so was the calculator.
So was spellcheck.
So was Google.
Every time technology makes us smarter, the world panics.
Then it adapts. Then it forgets.
And suddenly, it's normal.
But this is different.
AI isn't just another tool —
It will redefine how our world works.
Why memorize facts, write code, research anything —
when a model can do it in seconds?
The best communicator, the best analyst, the best problem-solver —
is now the one who knows how to ask the right question.
The future won't reward effort. It'll reward leverage.
So, start cheating.
Because when everyone does, no one is.
Notes
Strong products do not require manifestos. However, Cluely is seeking valuation within the techno-optimist movement. Techno-optimists value ideological alignment over demonstrated user value. I've kept this in mind while writing my notes.
We want to cheat on everything.
Cluely is a hidden desktop AI assistant that surveils Cluey customer's colleagues and friends, treats their words, tones and expressions as prompts. It then feeds predictive text to an incognito teleprompter. Cluely use cases are very niche and exclusively virtual.
Yep, you heard that right.
Sales calls. Meetings. Negotiations.
If there's a faster way to win — we'll take it.
We built Cluely so you never have to think alone again.
I don’t have the time to explain neural network architecture to you. I recommend reading Attention is All You Need to begin to understand how transformers work. I will say that large language models are not “thinking.” Even if they were, they cannot think with or for a human. We're not in Pacific Rim. Humans are not drift compatible with each other or machines. Thinking is an isolated activity, even in groups.
That large issue pushed to the side – what exactly are you offering Cluely customers? An AI assistant in an incognito window or actual intellectual dependency on AI? Why would they pay to be subjected to the latter?
It sees your screen. Hears your audio.
Feeds you answers in real time.
You are underselling your product’s capacity. You've established shock as one of your brand values. Why abandon it 1/4 of the way into your manifesto?
Maintain consistent branding with something like this, Cluely surveils the people in your virtual meetings. It analyzes their faces, tone and words. Cluely uses that stolen data to produce predictive text responses, which it then feeds you in real time.
While others guess — you're already right.
And yes, the world will call it cheating.
Granted there is some overlap between lying and cheating. But “cheating” implies context awareness and effort. Cluely claims its customers no longer need to develop context or put forth effort.
But so was the calculator.
So was spellcheck.
So was Google.
Let's blow right past the grammar issues and into the false equivalence. Calculators and spell check are fundamentally different from your product. They are tools for retrieving information. They were not designed to provide an asymmetric advantage to one party through surveillance and deception during real time virtual interactions.
Google is perhaps a more meaningful comparison. Google's search engine was designed to provide an asymmetric advantage to one party through surveillance during real-time virtual interactions.
I am not sure you want to make this comparison! The one party getting the advantage was Google. And the people being surveilled were Google's users. Your audience may read your Google comparison and worry about how Cluely is surveilling Cluely customers.
Your audience may be fine with having others surveilled for their personal advantage. But they will not necessarily feel the same about being surveilled for Cluely's advantage.
Your privacy policy will not alleviate their concerns. Cluely retains shockingly broad data collection and usage rights.
Every time technology makes us smarter, the world panics.
Then it adapts. Then it forgets.
And suddenly, it's normal.
But this is different.
If "this is different" that means the world will never adapt and the world should have an ongoing panic. Is that the message you are trying to communicate to your audience? If it is, please ignore this feedback.
AI isn't just another tool —
It will redefine how our world works.
Your branding positions Cluely founders as rogue technologists. This manifesto is supposed to be an authoritative declaration about the future impact of AI technology. But these two lines demonstrate to the audience that you do not understand what technology is or its historical impact.
What is technology?
Briefly, technology is the application of scientific knowledge to human endeavor. Technology is a framework that includes culture, process and tools! An easy way to understand this is that tools are the devices that allow people to implement conceptual knowledge in their daily lives. (In your case, AI is the technology and Cluely is an AI tool.)
Historical impact of technology
You claim AI will "redefine how our world works." This is a sentence that says a lot without meaning anything. Who's world? And how does that world work? Truly, can you tell me, Cluely? But let's just roll with it right now. When "how our world works" has been "redefined," tools are usually involved.
A few examples of tools that have significantly impacted how our world works : the thread, the needle, the ladder, the loom, the wheel, the pulley, the pen, the plow, the printing press, the computer.
It is difficult to sell customers an impactful tech story if you fundamentally do not understand the impact of technology.
Contradicts claim made just one line above
If AI redefines how our world works doesn't that mean the world has adapted to and then normalized AI?
Why memorize facts, write code, research anything —
when a model can do it in seconds?
Neural networks cannot process meaning. You seem very confused on this point. I can help!
I create a monthly curriculum designed to help you reclaim your attention, preserve information and share knowledge. The first volume has an entire section that explains why models trained on documents can never discern meaning or produce meaning. The course is totally free. I invite you to spend some time with it.
The best communicator, the best analyst, the best problem-solver —is now the one who knows how to ask the right question.
Humans are not subject to prompt engineering, so there is no such thing as a "right" question. But good questions are very important! Progress depends on good questions. Still, I will use "good" and "right" interchangeably for the sake of this feedback. There are two major problems with these lines.
1. The best communicator, best analyst and best problem solvers have always been the people who knew how to ask the "right" questions.
Right/Good questions come from a place of understanding. Understanding comes from developing an ability to think through inquiry - including research. How is someone supposed to know how to ask "the right question" if they’ve given up on developing their ability to think? This line demonstrates the way Cluely creates the very problem it claims to solve.
2. Cluely is prompted by the person the Cluely customer is surveilling, not the Cluely customer himself.
So the person asking "the right question" would be….the deceived third parties?
The future won't reward effort. It'll reward leverage.
Effort has always secondary to power. So the future will be more of the same? Not a very strong launching point for Cluely’s CTA.
Further evidence you don't understand the impact of technology
You’ve used the word "leverage" here. Leverage comes from lever, which is a simple machine that to use your language redefined how world works. This directly contradicts your Cluely isn’t like those other tools messaging. Something to consider!
So, start cheating.
Because when everyone does, no one is.
This CTA contradicts your initial claim that AI is different from technology that's been adopted by "the world." It reinforces your other claim that LLMs will in fact be like other transformative technologies and that it will be adopted globally and redefine how "the world works."
This CTA also negates your value proposition - which is "leverage." If AI assistance in virtual interactions becomes the default, then AI assistance offers no leverage. This will make effort and expertise more valuable - especially on the margins.
Is this an example of the "leverage" Cluey customers can expect? If so...consider investing some of that seed money in finishing your degree.
I hope these notes help you reconsider your current trajectory.
Never email me again,
Meg Conley
Pocket Observatory | Brand Strategy Studio
The Pen is Mightier Than AI
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